User talk:~InSaNeCrEaTeS~
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:InSaNiTy.png page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Underscorre (talk) 00:38, March 29, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:26, March 29, 2015 (UTC) Your story was fucking deleted smh... Btw where did you repost it?? ~TOWW Story Starting with the basics, your story is improperly titled and capitalized. Additionally your story needs to be formatted in paragraphs. You can use one sentence for a line every now and then for effect, but for every line is not good stylistically. (That is more for poetry.) Your story did not meet quality standards for this site. Punctuation errors: "My best friend(,) Alecia (Alicia?) (fake name) had turned her back on me and began spreading rumors (about me).", "As I stepped out of the class(,) they began accusing me of cheating on Alex.", "Eventually, Alex's best friend (fake name) Dave, had called me out in the hall." (Additionally, isn't she already in the hall? Also where is the teacher during all of this? Students aren't allowed to be pulled out of class multiple times because they want to 'chat'.) Numerous lines of dialogue are missing closing punctuation. "Alex is only dating you because Dave dared him to. He said you are annoying,fake,stupid,ugly(spaces needed after commas.) and don't know how to dress(.)", " "Why did you lie(?)" Additionally the tilde sign is to indicate a quote. Using it to mark an inflection in dialogue is incorrect. Apostrophes missing from contractions. ""WhO(')s" (Capitalization issues will be detailed lower.) Wording issues: "...her name was Lacey (fake name), I didn't know her well, but she is (was the) one girl you (I) can (could) trust.", "One girl, the first girl who spoke to me when I transferred to the school, Helena (fake name), she full-on despised me, I don't actually know why, but she called me a bitch and wanted to beat me up every time she saw me, she actually asked my little sister where I was because she wanted to bash me on the day I was sick." (run-on sentence), " Deeper cuts, making it bleed a lot(;) I had to lie and tell my mum it was 'my time of the month'." (Fragmented sentence, additionally the sentence would work better if you explained why the mom was suspicious and why the protagonist had to lie.) Capitalization errors: "when (When)he walked off to join Alex, I swear I saw them high five...", "not (Not) many things happened that year, besides many insults and painful...", "In March -i (I) think- I was diagnosed with severe Depression (depression), Anxiety (anxiety,) and Insomnia (insomnia).", "My inner thighs, My (my) arms, My (my) calves,fingertips, lips,cheeks, (space needed) pretty much any flesh I could cut.", "I would accidentally let my inner InSaNiTy (insanity) slip out, I would scare my class mates." (Inner insanity?), "I had a thing for sticking sharp objects in throats, while most people cringe, it makes my InSaNe smile grow wider.", "YoUr DeAtH iS qUiCk aNd PaInFuL. i (I) WaNt To HeAr YoUr AgOnIzInG sCrEaMs(.)" (Additionally what is the purpose of alternating caps? Does it mean she is emphasizing every odd letter, if so, that is going to sound odd/comical when the reader tries to imagine that line. Story issues: "My sexuality began confusing me. I felt no love for anyone. However I was drawn to females more than males." (This line comes out of no where and really has no impact on the story other than creating a plot issue with why she was dating boys earlier and the unexplained shift later in the story.) The bullies come off as cartoonishly evil and the protagonist's transition to losing her mind because she has been bullied has been done to death in a number of other stories. I would suggest looking over the Cliche list for themes/events to avoid. As you can tell, its deletion was clearly 'not bullshit'. The story is not well-written and is riddled with issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:13, March 29, 2015 (UTC)